Being

The beautiful thing about being 23 and out of school is ....just that. The question now is what am I going to do now! The question everyone asks in our culture, because most of our perspectives on life (worldview) is that life is about what you do. I think like so many other things we are told throughout life....its a half truth. If history really is a pendulum swing than my hope is that the next swing is an emphasis on who you plan to become.

I can't say that I am an expert at much. Nor am I very accomplished, wealthy, wise, and my GPA wasn't exactly something to write home about. However, I can say this. I know exactly who I want to be. How freaking glorious is that! I've worried days, weeks, months, years even about what I would do "when I grow up", and the Lord brought it around full-circle. He has revealed to me exactly who he wants me to become.

I know now beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was born to be an apprentice/understudy/co-laborer/disciple/friend/son/servant of Jesus. He has been calling me all along into a life filled with his fragrance and love. He has been wooing me with his word, his creation, and with people in my life. He wants nothing short of the best kind of life for me, and he knows that can only come if my heart changes, my thinking changes, and my actions change. Only then do I take him up on his offer. The offer is salvation. Salvation from living a life run by me. A life based on performance and approval of others. I can say that I truly, more than ever before, care very little of the approval and praise of men.

The beatiful thing about deciding to follow Jesus. Is this point of decison you must come to? We choose. We choose whether or not its good for us, salvation and eternal life now with God, we choose it moment by moment, with every person we come in contact with, with every conversation we have, with every thought we think. Amazing. We choose whether or not to submit all those things to him, and here to me is what truly is incredible about God. He is not forcing us. He gives us the choice. He's brilliant.

Think for a second of something you really, really love to do. Something you are passionate about. Maybe its shopping, basketball, football, drawing, painting,etc. I guarantee you that you love these things because of your own choice. Others may have led you to it, but you ultimately decided to let that thing cost you time, energy, money, tears, and your love. This is why the Father is so magnificent. There is nothing better than him! He is so great that when he invites us to himself, he invites us into eternal life now. A better life right now! He knows that if we choose him, than we will be free to love him uniquely,passionately, and unashamedly. Amazing isn't it?

Lessons

It ıs an amazing thing to be in another country. Its awfully romantıc and sincerely beautiful. The people are beautiful and kind and refreshing as all get out. They are wonderfully different. Cyprus and the Cypriot people have once again demanded my attention, time, energy, money, and prayers. For some reason though this place has had such a weighing affect on me that its difficult to breathe almost let alone smile. As weird as this sounds ; I believe the Lord has allowed this for me to feel the spiritual condition of this place. A place that knows nothing about the quality of life Jesus offers each of us.
However, there is this other thing going on. The thing I really don't want to share. That is the wretchedness that is in me. The sinful man that I am and the battle that is always raging for my heart. This place has brings to surface the condition of your heart, your deepest sin, and your greatest longings. I was blessed just two days ago to read Psalm 38 and discovered my brother David felt just as I did in this last week. "Why my soul are you downcast" he would say over and over again, and I found myself pleading with God as David did to "REMEMBER NOT THE SINS OF MY YOUTH AND TO RELEASE MY FROM THE GUILT OF MY SIN". It was at this moment that it dawned on me. This weeks toughness and the hardship and struggle its been to pray and be alone with God and for others. Though I felt useless and my prayers felt unheard, He was with me! The Lord gives grace to the humble, and he is close to the downtrodden, and empowers the weak.
I began to meditate on Jesus being my shepherd, and he reminded me of the verse in Psalm 51 that says, "May the bones you have crushed rejoice!". For shepherds when they discovered their sheep had broken a bone, would break it the rest of the way, set it straight, and then carry them. So though I didn't see it, God was breaking me, so He could set me straight, and make not mistake about it He is carry me in this place!

Cypriot Proverb

Free vinegar ıs sweeter than honey