So I was thinking...

About Teddy Roosevelt

2007-02-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

-Teddy

Happiness

2007-01-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

"The search for Happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness" - Eric Hoffer

About "Feeling"

2007-01-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

I've discovered something painfully true about myself.

I am someone who has lived a majority of my 23 years doing exactly whatever it is I "felt" like doing. I am starting to wonder if living that way could be synonymous with living in the "flesh". I am not positive, but I think its real close.

Now, granted, for a majority of my days I would say I have been mildly successful at resisting the temptations of every day life. I, like most people, compare my morality to Hitler and Bin Laden. But just because I didn't spend most my days drunk, high, and pillaging doesn't mean that the life I've been living is pleasing to the Lord.

I'm beginning to think the life that I so desperately want, the kind of life Jesus describes, is exactly like running. I have decided to be in a triathlon.....to be perfectly honest, this is just a sprint, 400m swim, 13 mile bike ride, and 3 mile run. Having begun training, I have discovered its not every day that I feel like going for a run, but its good for me, and I need to do it to get ready.

I believe Jesus knew this principle too, and that he taught it in other ways. Ways like living it. I don't think He felt like sufferring, but he did it. I don't think he felt like being mocked, but he endured it. I don't think he even necessarily felt like waking up wicked early to be alone, but he did it. Hmmmmmm.....

A Day at the Sea

2006-11-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't written alot or much for some time now. I have just had three cups of coffee, and have been reading and praying for the last hour or so. completely relaxed and yet filled with so much caffeine that my hands that normally have a slight tremor are now doing the electric slide.
I've begun to think about my life and how I read sitting here.

I am someone who gets lost in books. Lost enough that I could regularly escape to them if need be. Lost enough to call out of work so I could have the new release and read all 1000 pages. I think getting lost in books is wonderful. I always seem to find my favorite charachter in the story quite easily, and constantly compare myself to them, or even liken myself to them. The bible has always been the easiest book for me to do this.

My favorite charachters are Jesus, David, Paul, John, Peter, Daniel,etc....the classics.
I long to become a man with a heart like David, a man who hears God like Daniel, a man who has the faith of the centurion, a man who is strong like Peter, a man who is wise like Solomon, etc.

However, those goals in mind, I find myself all too often reading the word of God and discovering something else entirely. For example, some days I discover that I have run from God, and that I am more like the prodigal son than a David. Some days I discover I am like the oldest son, and am jealous when God blesses someone undeserving. There have been days in my life, years even, when what looked like faithfulness was really me in my sheep costume, the one where I am a wolf wearing the wool. The one where I am the man who Isaiah refers to when he says, "men who honor God with their lips, and not their lives".

I am constantly finding myself being the one you don't want to be in Jesus' parables, or worse, nothing like the one you really want to be. I have been the man who walks by the hurting and doesn't stop. I have been the man who hides his talent in the ground. I have been the worker in the field who complains about the everyone being rewarded. I have been the disciple who stands in the presence of a risen Lord and still doubts. I have run , and I have denied him. I have been someone who refuses to sell everything and follow. If I was an architect, I've built my house (life) on sand. I have been like Peter when he began to sink in the water. I have I have been blind to my pride like Sampson. This could be longer.

"I love you Son," ; "Time to end that mess Son". I'm the little kid C.S. Lewis is talking about....playing in the mud, when I could have a day at the sea, and thats what the Lord is saying.

The third great awakening in my life is at hand. The age when I do what I was created for ; the age when I follow through. No more games, no more fleeces. God's faithfulness and love and promises and enduring patience, and his longsuffering, and his message and his forgiveness and his mission have been revealed to me for a purpose. I am now more sure than ever than who I want to be in the parable.

I want to be the man who sold everything he had for the Pearl of Great Price. I want to be considered foolishly in love with my Master. I want a day at the sea.

Jesus' Words

2006-09-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

I have been really wandering why it is that for most of my life I thought what Jesus had to say about life really wasn't so important. Its actually quite unfathomable. I, for as long as I can remember, have believed Jesus to be the Son of God. However, I have not for long thought of him as being brilliant. Only for the last year or so has that been the case. His words are so deeply meaningful to me now, that I can't really remember what I thought before. I think I was simply indifferent to them. What a strong dispositon eh? To be indifferent towards God, is truly not such a safe place to be. Nor was I really for a long time. It's a dangerous place, maybe the most dangerous of places to stand in defiance to God. To be so filled with pride, and so confident of your own abilities, that you end up making the same mistake Lucifer made. Praise be to God for mercy right? For I shutter to think how many of my total days were lived exactly like that...on my own strength, thinking whatever I want, dwelling on whatever i want, spending my resources however I wish, doing whatever I want, etc.

My other thought about Jesus' words is that its so funny how some of them we hold so dearly too, and others we don't. For example, "Go and make disciples of all nations..." is almost universally agreed by all denominations to be exactly what we should do. So must denominations have "missionaries" and such right. However, in Matthew 10 Jesus sends off the discples for what appears to be the first time, in twos, to go preach that the kingdom is near, to cast out demons, heal the sick, and raise the dead. Why is it then, that never in a church setting have I heard we should do this? Why have i never gotten Casting Out Demons 101, and Raising the Dead 102, and How to Heal the Sick 210, and more importantly what in the world does the "kingdom near". I think in all my church life I have heard three messages on the "kingdom now" message that was Jesus' main point throughout his ministry. Craziness

My last thought for now is how I love how Jesus talks to people. He seems to always speak to the heart. He really seems to me anyways, to be quite sarcastic and probing at times. I love that. I love that throughout the gospels he doesn't give a flying flip what anyone thinks about him or who he hangs out with. He cares about his Father in Heaven's approval, and not much else. He does what the Father is doing, and He knows because he spends time with the Father. Brilliant huh. I wonder if we would know what the Father is doing, if we spent time with Him?

Being

2006-07-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

The beautiful thing about being 23 and out of school is ....just that. The question now is what am I going to do now! The question everyone asks in our culture, because most of our perspectives on life (worldview) is that life is about what you do. I think like so many other things we are told throughout life....its a half truth. If history really is a pendulum swing than my hope is that the next swing is an emphasis on who you plan to become.

I can't say that I am an expert at much. Nor am I very accomplished, wealthy, wise, and my GPA wasn't exactly something to write home about. However, I can say this. I know exactly who I want to be. How freaking glorious is that! I've worried days, weeks, months, years even about what I would do "when I grow up", and the Lord brought it around full-circle. He has revealed to me exactly who he wants me to become.

I know now beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was born to be an apprentice/understudy/co-laborer/disciple/friend/son/servant of Jesus. He has been calling me all along into a life filled with his fragrance and love. He has been wooing me with his word, his creation, and with people in my life. He wants nothing short of the best kind of life for me, and he knows that can only come if my heart changes, my thinking changes, and my actions change. Only then do I take him up on his offer. The offer is salvation. Salvation from living a life run by me. A life based on performance and approval of others. I can say that I truly, more than ever before, care very little of the approval and praise of men.

The beatiful thing about deciding to follow Jesus. Is this point of decison you must come to? We choose. We choose whether or not its good for us, salvation and eternal life now with God, we choose it moment by moment, with every person we come in contact with, with every conversation we have, with every thought we think. Amazing. We choose whether or not to submit all those things to him, and here to me is what truly is incredible about God. He is not forcing us. He gives us the choice. He's brilliant.

Think for a second of something you really, really love to do. Something you are passionate about. Maybe its shopping, basketball, football, drawing, painting,etc. I guarantee you that you love these things because of your own choice. Others may have led you to it, but you ultimately decided to let that thing cost you time, energy, money, tears, and your love. This is why the Father is so magnificent. There is nothing better than him! He is so great that when he invites us to himself, he invites us into eternal life now. A better life right now! He knows that if we choose him, than we will be free to love him uniquely,passionately, and unashamedly. Amazing isn't it?

Lessons

2006-07-09T04:26:00.000-07:00

It ıs an amazing thing to be in another country. Its awfully romantıc and sincerely beautiful. The people are beautiful and kind and refreshing as all get out. They are wonderfully different. Cyprus and the Cypriot people have once again demanded my attention, time, energy, money, and prayers. For some reason though this place has had such a weighing affect on me that its difficult to breathe almost let alone smile. As weird as this sounds ; I believe the Lord has allowed this for me to feel the spiritual condition of this place. A place that knows nothing about the quality of life Jesus offers each of us.
However, there is this other thing going on. The thing I really don't want to share. That is the wretchedness that is in me. The sinful man that I am and the battle that is always raging for my heart. This place has brings to surface the condition of your heart, your deepest sin, and your greatest longings. I was blessed just two days ago to read Psalm 38 and discovered my brother David felt just as I did in this last week. "Why my soul are you downcast" he would say over and over again, and I found myself pleading with God as David did to "REMEMBER NOT THE SINS OF MY YOUTH AND TO RELEASE MY FROM THE GUILT OF MY SIN". It was at this moment that it dawned on me. This weeks toughness and the hardship and struggle its been to pray and be alone with God and for others. Though I felt useless and my prayers felt unheard, He was with me! The Lord gives grace to the humble, and he is close to the downtrodden, and empowers the weak.
I began to meditate on Jesus being my shepherd, and he reminded me of the verse in Psalm 51 that says, "May the bones you have crushed rejoice!". For shepherds when they discovered their sheep had broken a bone, would break it the rest of the way, set it straight, and then carry them. So though I didn't see it, God was breaking me, so He could set me straight, and make not mistake about it He is carry me in this place!

Cypriot Proverb

2006-07-09T04:25:00.000-07:00

Free vinegar ıs sweeter than honey

Women preaching??

2006-06-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

You be the judge if we should allow it...click here

Very Human

2006-06-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

Its really starting to amaze me how truly very, very human I am. By human, I mean flawed and inconsistent. I have a story to tell. It was about two Saturdays ago in Lynchburg, Va. that this story takes place. It is early on a Saturday morning, and myself and a few friends are moving some girls I know from work from their apartment to their new and improved place downtown.

However, this move is gonna be some signigicant work. There is alot of heavy stuff and a ton of other stuff, filling up a U-haul and three other cars. Needless to say I'm not super-stoked to begin with to have to do this with my Saturday morning-afternoon. (However, how good of a person are you if you can't help someone when they ask you. So I looked on this as an opportunity to build charachter I guess you could say)

As soon as we arrived to the apartment I was informed that some football players had been called to help with the heavy-lifting up the four flights of stairs to the new place. Thats right, four flights (narrow too). Well, thats about all it took for my pride to shoot through the roof. I turned to my friend and said " I would love nothing more than for these "football players" to come here and have nothing to do but twiddle their thumbs".

I preceded to practically run up the stairs carrying all the heavy stuff I could: dressers, cinderblocks (to make bookshelves), couches, chairs, etc. To my delight my plan went perfectly. The entire u-haul was empty by the time the offensive line made it. On the outside I wasn't smiling but inside I was beaming.

I took a second, to let them carry some light things up the stairs, when I heard my friend Anna ordering pizza for us for helping. There were only four guys lifting anything all day. When the other five "strong guys" came, and worked for all of ten minutes, compared to my 3 hours you can imagine my thoughts as I heard her ordering 6 pizzas.

Immediately I thought, "well, thats nice to reward them the same as us". Heck no. I started to complain in my heart. They didn't deserve to be rewarded the same! I did all the work and my three friends. I got so bitter I turned to my friend and said, "This is bullcrap man", why should they get pizza?"

Nothing could have hit me harder than my friends reply of, "Its kinda like the parable of the workers in the field". "Jesus hired a bunch of workers at different times of the day but they all got paid the same in the end." Thats when I got nailed by an overwhelming sense of convinction. I was so disappointed that I was the complainer in the parable. The guy who doesn't understand how to live in the kingdom of God. Getting to realize you just failed a test, immediately after it happens is quite impactful.

I sat down after my friends words. I sat and thought that Jesus was right on the money, and laughed (but wanted to cry) how often I fail him, but he still loves me anyway.

Interesting Perspective

2006-06-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

You must have often wondered why the enemy (God) does not make more use of his power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree he chooses and at any moment But you now see that the irresistible and the indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of his scheme forbids him to use. Merely to over-ride a human will (as his felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For his ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them , will not serve....Sooner or later he withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience , all supports and incentives. He leave the creature to stand up on its own hind legs- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish...He cannot "tempt" to virtue as we can to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away his hand...Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
- Uncle Screwtape (demon mentor)
C.S. Lewis , The Screwtape Letters

V for Vendetta

2006-05-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen this movie...you should. I have seen this movie twice now. I must say I genuinely enjoyed it. This movie had the key elements that I just truly enjoy in a movie: meaningful violence, revenge, love, natalie portman, action, sacrifice, drama, mystery, intrigue, and adventure. However, I found myself (especially the second time around) correlating so much of the movie to Christianity it was crazy.

The basic premise of this movie was that all of England had, because of fear, allowed a political party to come into power that took away every imaginable freedom, right, liberty the people. Restrictions on the very food they ate, how late they were allowed up, the things they could have, etc. The hero in the movie, V, mission was to dismantle the corrupt government and to wake up the people of England to see the injustice for what it is and to stand up for freedom once again, and to reclaim the country they gave away because of fear.

The entire time I kept on seeing the Church we have created in the west. The church that was so similiar to this make believe england. The church that because of fear, has fled the inner city and the people in it. The condition of the "church" today is no secret in America. We are losing influence in the culture. We are losing influence among each other. We are losing influence in the community.

V said to the people of England, when referring to their loss of freedom and who's to blame, "Look in the mirror". The same is true of the church in America. Look in the mirror my friends, we are to blame! It wasn't our leaderships fault (well entirely), nor the worship team, nor the big buildings, nor the fancy lights, etc.

In the movie, V, accused the people of forgetting major words....words like Freedom. Words that were not merely words, but symbols. It was at that moment, that I had an eureka moment. The same is true of us! Except our word is....the gospel.

The gospel in our day I am sure has lost its meaning. Don't believe me? Ask any Christianto you know what it is then. Chances are you might here....A admit your a sinner, B believe in Jesus, C confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord...and now ur saved and thats the gospel. Or you might hear the Romans Road. Or the four spiritual laws. Nor was it just about the cross! The gospel, the good news that Jesus brought, can not be put in a box of our understanding, to be put up on our shelf of knowledge.

Now, for the record, I'm not a fool. I see the good in all those things. Truth in all of them even, however, why did we feel the need to make the gospel...simple and easy? Why did we make it into a teaching and not a dialogue?

The gospel, the news Jesus brought about the "kingdom of God", desperately needs to be "re-thought" in our time. We must remember his message and the life his message brings! His way of living life might really be the best way...imagine that. The master teacher, God himself, (who became a man by the way), might actually have some good things to say about how to live our daily lives. I wonder, why he never boiled it down to a simple formula? He had the perfect platform to tell us what the gospel was didn't he? Was it never meant to be so simply explained? I think so. I think he explained the gospel in parables precisely because he knew if he had given us a formula we would bury into the ground until it had no meaning... kinda like today.

In the movie...V blew up the parliament building to get his point accross. I wondered to myself, what will it take for us to remember?

Questions

2006-05-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

Is there a God?
Am I worth loving?
Are others worth loving?
Is God worth loving?
Does God love me?
How can I learn to be un-Selfish?
What kind of person should I become?
Why do I live comfortably and others do not?
Is that just?
What does it mean for faith to evolve or morph?
Should faith evolve just because culture changes?
Why shouldn't it?
What does "compromising truth" mean?
Why do I feel the need to put everything in a box?
Is Scripture the only written revelation about God?
Why does Jesus being the "way to heaven" annoy me?
What should I be doing the rest of my life?
Why wasn't Jesus more concerned about getting to heaven?
Whose words are more important : Jesus' or Paul's...or are they the same.
Why should I believe scripture at all?
Is it God's word...all of it. Or is it just "useful for teaching, correcting, training,...."?
Why is there no "good" theology for terrible things happening?
Why do I feel lonely so often?
Does being with someone even cure loneliness I wonder?
Why am I not happier?
Is Evolution true?
Was Genesis literal?
Does it matter if it was or wasn't?
What will it take for Christians to honor that name they bear?
Is doubting such a big deal?
Will prayer ever make sense or be easy?
Is Hell real?
How important is doctrine?
How can I possibly know if one doctrine is better than the other? Based on what?
Is Graduate school important?
Social responsibility should play how big of a role in my life?
Does God care about bar-code faith or fire insurance if a fire really is coming?
Does God care about our mental assent to faith?
Does God care more about rightly living?
What does it mean to live in the "kingdom of God"
How can I make a difference in the church?
Where should I spend my life?
Who should I spend my life with?
Will I ever get to "hear" God?
Will I get to spend it with anyone?
How do I forgive when it hurts?
How should I love?
How do I get deliverance from sin?
What does it mean to be "discipled"?
How do I , not knowing much, disciple others?
Why do all my questions revolve around the first three questions?

I wonder if I was born in a cave...and was let out on my 30th bday and saw this sunset....if my first question would be answered?

Strike a Pose Baby

2006-05-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

Time to Re-evaluate

2006-05-08T16:15:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog called Ellnellis and was intrigued as always, but wanted to draw special attention to his post on "Progress". I truly believe that Christianity in our country today is in a serious need of re-evaluation, and feel this article deserves a thorough read...check it. Christian Reflections on War

Surely not every moment?

2006-05-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

I think I finally understand the problem today faced by most people. I think Dallas Willard was right when he said that we really don't think Jesus knew what he was talking about when it comes to this life. We see the Sermon on the Mount as an impossible list of commands. We think the smartest man who ever lived was Einstein, Bill Gates, not Jesus. We think of Him as the "Master" in the sense that were his slaves. We don't think of him as the "Master" in the sense that he's the best at what he does.

Our problem today I believe is certainly our take on how life should be lived. I think most people, even myself, have compartmentalized far too much. Our personal lives are separated from our public lives. Our brains our separt from our hearts. The gospel is good to deal with our coming death, but not our day to day existense. The time to hear God and experience God is Sunday...not every day...and surely not every moment.

Im beginning to think it was Jesus' direct purpose to give us All the abundant/eternal/the best kind of life right now. He wanted to show us how to do it. So he modeled it ...he taught about it...he lived it. Moment by moment...he "did what the Father was doing" ; He regularly escaped to be with the Father; He cared for the sick, poor, marginalized, unwanted, untouchable; He healed all kinds of wounds and sickness; He included people most wouldn't ; we could go on and on.

Yet I think when Jesus said, "if you love me; you'd obey me" we think of him as a tyrant of our lives. Even , subconsciously maybe, that "this can't be right". I thought we had freedom? I guess I'm entertaining the possibility that the God of the Universe...really really loves me. Not just a little. Enough to die for me. Enough to tell me the best way to enjoy life....on the off chance he really has my best in mind...could it be true. Could it be true that the abundant life could be expereinced everyday and not just Sunday?

I'm finding it increasingly interesting that Jesus, given the chance to talk to a crowd of people rarely, oh wait, NEVER made his coming death the main emphasis of his "ministry" or what I would call his normal everyday life. In his day to day life that we know of, his main priority was the "kingdom of God" which is available to...you guessed it...ALL PEOPLE. Man do I love that!
So then how does this mindset affect our every day..our every moment...is it possible i wonder?

About having ears...

2006-05-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most inspiring men to me; that unfortunately I will not get to me until eternity. His name...Count Von Zinzendorf. Born in the 1700s I missed him by a little bit. However, what his life has done for me I'm not sure can really be measured in its influence.

Zinzendorf as a young man loved the Lord. Born into a priveleged family he was highly educated in Hebrew, Greek, and a few other languages as well. As a young man he decided that he would dedicated his life to be able to have an inner conversational life with the Father. As a teenager at Halle Academy he and a few friends formed a secret society known as the Order of the Grain of Mustard Seed. They dedicated their lives to each other, to being kind to all men, to obey the teachings of Christ, and to go to the world. The group was known for their prayer vigils throughout the night. Zinzendorf himself, as a young man, was known for his all-night vigils. As an adult, Zinzendorf had much influence in Europe, and men such as the King of Denmark, and the Archbishops of Canterbuy and Paris were known members.

As an adult Zinzendorf was put into many difficult situations, but one that amazes me. there was a people group without a country known as the Moravians. Zinzendorf allowed this people to live on his land, and he shared his life with them. They called the town they lived Hernhut, meaning "The Lord's Watch". As a 27 year old man, the Count left the public life, with all its prestige to work among the troubled Moravians. For their own joy, Zinzendorf came up with a list of principle all member of Herhnhut would obey, known as the brotherlly agreement. Following this committment to Godly principle, prayer, and to a simple lifestlye they began to experience a renewal that later became known as the Moravian Pentacost. During a communnion service its been said that the Holy Spirt "fell upon the entire congregation". The community felt a deep desperation to pray....so began a ONE HUNDRED YEAR prayer movement of around the clock prayer in which men, women, and children all participated. On days when the communnity would have "intercession day" for the sick and destitute...people would walk hundreds of miles to be there. The Wesley's first came to faith in the Moravian community and in John's journal its written, "When will Christianity like this cover the earth like water covers the sea?".

Soon thereafter, was the largest sending out the world had ever seen and what became known as the Protestant Missions Movement....sending people, with their coffins, to Africa, West Indies, Russia, Greenland, America,, and many more places.
William Carey, known as the Father of Modern Missions, actually credits Zinzendorf with this title and oftern referrs to the Count and the Moravian church in his writing. By the end of Zinzendorfs life, missionaries from his church and community had been sent to the West Indies, Russia, Africa, America, and many more.

You might say that God's "hand" was on Zinzendorf. However, I believe this to be the natural outcome of what happens when you commit yourself to listening to the Lord. My favorite story of the Count is this...On his way back from America, the ship he was in was being thrown about in a terrible storm and all the men were deathly scared. The Captain, who tells this story, said he went below deck with a grave look on his face and told the Count to please pray. Zinzendorf simply replied, "the storm will be over in an hour". Sure enough, it was! The captain came rushing down to Zinzendorf and asked him the obvious, "How did you know?". Zinzendorf replied something like this, "Since I was a young man I have dedicated myself to a personal relationship with Jesus and I talk to him about everything. When I find myself in a situation I can't control and bad things are happening I immediately evaluate myself and ask him if there is anything that I am doing that is causing this to happen....when it is me I fall to the ground and ask for his forgiveness and strenghth to bring me through....when Its not me...sometimes I ask Him if He would explain to me why He's allowing this to happen. This time he told me it be over in an hour.

I love it. Makes sense though doesn't it? I mean think about your good friends and your acquaintances. Your good friends you tell things you would never tell those you sorta know. Is it the same with God? Does he tell his good friends more than those of us who are not spending time with him? I think it's possible. Daniel, David, Enoch, Moses, Joshua, Paul, Peter, John, Elijah, Zinzendorf,etc. These are men who had "ears to hear" because they spent time with Jesus.

About the Culture

2006-03-31T21:27:00.002-08:00

I must admit that when I first arrived in India I was caught off-guard by some of the major culture differences. For example, dogs, cats, goats, cows all roam the cities here. Every city I have been too has the hussle and bussle of New York or Philly. There is bumper to bumper traffic everywhere. The roads are chaos, theres motocycles, bicycles, three wheeler cars, vans, huge trucks. The roads are so small, that you need to take your side mirrors off to create space. Marriages are arranged here. The two getting arranged have some say some of the time, but not all the time. North and South India are like two different countries...the dialects are so different many northerners and southerners can't understand each other at all. If two guys are good friends, they hold hands sometimes..girls too. You squat to take care of business here if you know what I mean, and theres no toilet paper in the bathroom. Needless to say, you eat with your right hand only here...no utensils for dinner. However, it is the caste system that shocked me the most.

I must admit that I used to live in complete ignorance of the caste system in India. The Indian constitution forbids it you know, but it is alive and well in India. The evil of hinduism is that it is a "religion" (more of a mockery) that states God instituted the caste sytem. It is said the caste system is like a building with many levels and no elavotor or stairs. You are born into it. It is believed that "God" from his head created the Brahimins (highest caste) they are the Indians who can become priests and teachers, and make the upper class of society, even now they control everything in the country. Since marriages are arranged it is easy to keep all the money in the family. It is widely true and widely believed that Brahimins are the lighter skinned Indians. So fair skin is what you see on tv in India...and on the billboards and all. Then from his shoulders their god created the Ksatriyas who are the warriors and rulers of society. Next, the Vaisyas were formed his waist, and so he created the merchants, farmers, artisans,etc. After that from his feet he created the Sutras, makes up the beggars of society and other lowly positions.

Now, within these four major parts are thousands of subcastes. Ghandi himself was in the subcaste of the Vaisyas. Now the people on the trip we went to see are called the Dalit's. Ghandi called them the Harijan's..which means the "children of God" for he believed their suffering begat holiness. The Dalit's themselves rejected the name and prefer to be called the "downtrodden" or "untouchables" or "Dalit" for short.

About India

2006-03-26T19:01:00.000-08:00

So my journey has led me once again to distant places. I am residing now in Dehli, India for this last day till I am off to a village about 7 hours away by train. My stay so far has not been short of action. One of the main reasons for my coming was to come and be with the Dalit people and to come help support and see those who fight on their behalf.

On my first day here, our tour guide, an Indian man named Josee (a team member of Operation Mobilization) took us to meet one of the Dalit politicians...a man namd Outee Raje. He is a leader who has begun his own political party to fight for the rights of the Dalit people, very similiar to a Martin Luther King figure I guess. Whats interesting about him is that he is not a Christian, but he is encouraging the people to become Christians, because he knows that Christianity would eliminate the caste system in India. So OM has been helping him in his cause to bring social justice to the Dalit people, who are among the poorest of the poor in India.

Well when we met him, we were attending one of his public rallies in downtown Dehli. Now he knew about our connection or affiliation with an organization called Dalit Freedom Network. He has been to the states many times and even before Congress to ask for the U.S. support on these human rights issues. So, when he saw us, we were immediately escorted to him and sat at the podium next to him as he spoke to the people. Haha, definitely made me nervous. We, Dan and I, were adorned with flowers, handshakes, and were escorted along with him in his political convoy through Dehli to go to the next public place where the same thing would go on. So our attempts to be low key sorta failed you could say.

Some things that caught me off-guard: there are definitely cows just chilling in the road here, roaming around like a lost dog, everyone here wears pants all the time, everyone here wears a collered-shirt as well, IIT college puts out 100,000 engineers a year here. As far as issues concerning the church and India's history there is much I do not know.

I had not really given thought before to the real spiritual darkness the caste system has brought here. For they believe that the system was God's design and will. This is most significant, for then it is God's will and desire that this injustice is occurring. In the caste system it tells those of low caste that they will be nothing and are nothing to God and everyone else. If you are lucky enough to be in a tribe, you do not even have a soul. However, though the low castes must fight for the rights...I fear they do so with a slanted disposition towards their brothers of higher caste. How can they show love to their oppressors? Is it happening? I must say that so far I do not see it, but how could they I wonder? Their "conversion" to Christianity as a belief system, means nothing without the heart change and change to their ways of thinking and living...especially among their brothers of higher and lower caste.

There is an identity problem in the Indian church. For the caste system has infected the church as well. Some leaders here refuse to acknowledge the truth of God's love for all men, even those of higher and lower caste. There are church's where everyone is a doctor or engineer...mostly the Brahmin churches. (Sounds like some church's I know back home) where the church is indifferent to the poor and marginalized...(now that sounds just like the church in America, maybe the problems are more similiar than I realize) This blindness helps to explain the heavy darkness in this place, and the lack of change, and unaffect the gospel is having among the people.

Now, I am told that the situation in North India is much different than the South. THe North has historically been a much harder field. Many teams come and go up here. Many cannot stand the intense spiritual struggle and persecution and the hardship of laboring without much visible reward. I was told by my friend who teaches at a Bible college here that the classic mistake by westerners who come here is that they come in a team, without the charchter and spiritual development necessary to be in India long-term. The plan is good, budget is good, vision is good, but the people are all wrong. His advice was to find the right people and then come up with a plan and all. Yes and amen, couldn't agree more.

Being here among the poorest people I have ever seen. I find myself asking the same questions. What is the best way to help the poor? Surely it is not just the financial aspect. Nor is it the educational aspect. Yes I desire for them to be educated and financially well off, but does that solve their problems? Does that give meaning and purpose to life? The cycle of poverty here in India is thousands of years old. What grips me the most about India is the hopelessness of the poor. In the states, if you are goodlooking enough, athletic enough, smart enough, a man/woman could change his/her stars. There are many rags to riches stories. In India there isn't. There was an article in the paper here asking five Dalit boys what they wanted to be when they grew up. You know what their response was...."nothing". Five Brahmin boys asked the same question responded...doctors, lawyers, engineers,etc. Thats whats wrong here. The hopelessness and lack of identity. They do not believe they are loved, nor that they are special. So they live that way. Unreal. Sad to think just the other day I was upset that my car wasn't nicer.

About the Kingdom...

2006-03-13T20:20:00.000-08:00

The kingdom of God has been the most fascinating concept to me as of late. Almost everything I think about the "kingdom" I have truly never thought of much before. My thinking has changed so much when I hear those words "the kingdom of God" that I'm not really sure what it was I thought the kingdom was before. I think sometimes I thought Jesus was referring to simply heaven....but clearly sometimes in scripture this is just not the case. So then I thought maybe Jesus was simply referring to his millenial reign on earth...But that doesn't really click either with me. Thats when I sort of got to the point of thinking...well its just a mystery...and I'll leave it at that.

I have been reading the Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard as of late. Professor Willard (who teaches philosophy at USC) has helped me to see the kingdom rightly I believe. More importantly he has given language and logic behind seeing the "kingdom of God" as Jesus saw it and talked about it.

sidenote: Did you know its practically universally agreed that the central theme of the teachings of Jesus was the Kingdom of God...And yet I can never remember really hearing about this kingdom in my 22 years. Not in church. Not in my home. Not even as a bible major.

The book covers a variety of topics, but most interesting to me was the chapters on "the gospel of sin management" that is so often preached today. A "gospel" that is not just cheap, but leaves people the same.....(based on the fact that divorces, adultery, crime, depression,etc...are justas prevalent in christian homes as non-christian) must be lacking something! I believe it might be the case we live in a time where there is an unhealthy emphasis on forgiveness and heaven. So we've sacrificed regeneration, the new and abundant life right now in Christ at its expense.

I"ll be very honest and say that I thought the full gospel was this arrangement Christ made for meand that all. I was taught that was what the gospel was. I thought to preach the "kingdom" was to inform people of Jesus' conquering death...I had never thought really to help people see what Jesus taught about....He told his disciples to go and to ...you guessed it....preach the "kingdom of God is at hand". So did Jesus model something different than I preach? I think he did.

I believe by overemphasizing heaven and such, I missed out all this time in the eternal life in the kingdom of God.....right now! I'm the culprit. I have preached the inadequate gospel.

I thought eternal life was something that happens once I die. Never have I thought that this life has started already truly. Since the day I first recognized this truth...I can honestly say I feel like my joy has doubled.

The reality of the kingdom of God available NOW is crucial to understand. The presence of and availability to it is what me must be preaching.

Jesus said " Blessed are the poor in spirit....for theirs is the kingdom of God....

In this statement Jesus opened the door to EVERYONE. This rocked the socks off of everyone listening that day by the way. Dallas wrote that, "there is no gospel for human life and Christian discipleship today...there is one for death (you know it...its the lets get people "saved" gospel) and one for social action (standing up for social justice and against societal evils etc.)."

There is so much more to say....how do we live in this kingdom? How do we repent from separating our spiritual lives from everything else? How do we preach the kingdom? What do we talk about?

About a poem

2006-03-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

ANYWAY

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered
LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of self, ulterior motives,
DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are succesful, you win false and true enemies,
SUCCEED ANWAY

The good you do will be forgotten tommorrow,
DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight,
BUILD ANYWAY

People will really need hel but may attack you if you help them,
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU GOT ANYWAY

??????????????????????????????????????

2006-02-13T12:42:00.001-08:00

Is it true that the most important thing about you is that you understand your belovedness (how much you are loved) regardless of who you are or what you believe in?

About a Girl

2006-01-18T07:07:00.000-08:00

So there was this girl named Agnes. Born on a hot august day not too long ago. She has an average upbringing and time is flying by now and in a flash she is twelve years old, and probably a typical pre-teen right? Wrong. This twelve year old feels the call of God to be an agent of love to the world. So when she's 18 she believed the best way to do this would be to leave her home at 18 and join a Irish community of nuns bound for India.

She did do it. She became a teacher in St. Mare's School in Calcutta. However, the suffering and the poverty outside the walls of the convent overwhelmed her heart. So at the age of 38 she left the convent to work among poorest of the poor. The people no-one cared about. She had no funds. No support team. No great skills. All she had was the heart of Christ, and He was smiling.

After her step of faith the Lord honored her. She began an open aired school for the children of the slums. Soon she was joined by voluntary helpers and financial support was also forthcoming. Soon she would start her own order called "the missionaries of charity". Before long her order would have influence and other offshoots in the former Soviet Union, Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia, Latin America, and Australia. So the Lord has his hand on it...I guess you could say...By the end of her life more than 40 countries were and still are influenced by this order.

The Lord would honor this once little girl now little women further. Her humble inspire and charisma got her to speak all over the world. The lit&le women from Macedonia was now in front of kings and presidents. In maybe my favorite story of her. She is in Washington D.C., there is a Q&A I think going on about abortion. This woman stands up and says that she heard America doesn't want its babies, and pleaded with us to give them to her, because she wants them!

You know I once heard a quote that has often made me wonder. "The world has yet to see what one man could do, utterly and fully devoted to Christ". I'm not sure I agree with that, but I will say the world has seen what one woman did. Oh...You might know her as Theresa.

About a Good Prayer

2006-01-17T21:10:00.000-08:00

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer)

Gracious Father, we pray for the Holy Universal Church. Fill it with all truth, in all truth with all peace.

Where it is corrupt, purify it
Where it is in error, direct it
Where in any thing it is amiss, reform it
Where it is right, strengthen it
Where it is in want, provide for it
Where it is divided, reunite it

For the sake of Jesus Christ thy Son, our Saviour. Amen

About Wounds

2006-01-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

Time heals all wounds

Wounds in the relational/spiritual realm are certainly a very scary/powerful thing. Wounds can shape the whole person...and, in fact, thats precisely what they do. Maybe, not all the time but certainly they play a huge part in the developement of the soul/personality/etc. For instance, if you were someone who was stolen from all your life...your probably suspicious of other people. Maybe you were lied to often, so you question the truth. Maybe you were abused physcially or wounded deeply emotionally, and now your unable to trust. So are wounds are very powerful things, and can control our personality and very lives. However, we subject ourselves to their power when we don't go to Jesus with our wounds...

I can remember my early days of being wounded. I think their always small at first, and become real clear once the school years begin, but even before that surely. My most profound wounds came at the hand of my parents. I don't think this is some great tragedy...this is normal for everyone. We are around are parents more than any other person. They are or should be the person who loves us the most in the world growing up and so they have the capacity to wound us the greatest. They are around the most...in most cases...and so have most opportunity to wound.

Rejection is the most common form wounds take when were young I believe. For instance, like when my thumb didn't get pressed down in "7 up" in first grade. The day a kid made fun of my ears at the Berlin Flea Market. The time in second/third grade when I got in a fight. The day my friend Eddie stole from me. The time my friend Mike didn't invite me to his birthday party. I can also remember the deep wounds. Like I said before I think many that will go unsaid come at the hands of my parents. Praise the Lord that they are truly and thankfully not gashes. I grew up in a wonderful home by any standard I have to measure it against, but my parents were/are sinful and they wounded me as I wounded them. I am truly blessed not to have grown up in a home of verbal/sexual abuse, or a home where I was not loved/affirmed, etc.

My deepest wound to date came at the hand of my best friend at the time, two summers ago. I have never felt hurt more than on that dramatic day. I can still remember the rush of emotions. The opportunity to act like a son in the kingdom of God was never more real than in that moment. The chance to forgive; though wounded. Forgiveness is the key to dealing with all wounds I believe, but Jesus is the keymaker. I must admit the pain of that situation seemed to be on me like white on rice, and it seemed best to just ignore it...and let time deal with it. I sincerely bought into this crap "Time heals all wounds". Now, time might help forget, but that doesn't do anything but bury the pain and hurt.

We talked this morning , George Miley mainly, about this issue. George submitted that only Jesus can heal all wounds. I think that is something that should have struck me a good deal earlier. He was right when he said that Time doesn't produce maturity or wisdom. Time doesn't heal, books don't heal, counseling doesn't heal, friends don't heal, etc. They can help, but only if they lead you to love and Jesus. If they don't lead to him; then I'm afraid were just wasting our time. Only Jesus can heal our soul...and all the parts included: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

I think the way Jesus heals the soul that George talked about is exactly the same way I experienced healing in my life two summers ago. The healing is when we are alone with God and he tells us that...... I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU...NOTHING YOU DO TODAY COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU MORE !

Now, I am a firm believer that this is true...I know because when I'm with Him he tells me. However, this will never be something you can just know, you have to hear it for yourself. A way to hear God, maybe the easiest, is to be in his presence. In a culture that has no respect for silence, solitude, and prayer I'm afraid we have missed out on hearing these words from Him. I'm with George, once you hear that...healing is possible and already begun.

About Passion

2006-01-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in Germany right now. Its been an emotional and exciting week. I am surrounded by people with passion. I cannot tell you what a peace and comfort it is to be in a room where people are passionate about the same thing...the kingdom of God. I have sat in a circle with warriors this past week. Though they would never say that about themselves. I sit in a room with men and women who know God and have walked with him for many years...but they would tell you they know very little about God if you asked them about Him.

So I have sat in the room with these heroes of the faith...people who were among the first to be in Turkey, India, and other countries. Men and women who have suffered for Jesus' sake. As we read the words of Jesus together...blessed are those who suffer for my name... I feel so guinely out of place. Then reports come in that one of the pastors who was with us...church was attacked and members of his church had been seriously injured. It was reported also that my friend Kamil was among those beaten because of their love for Jesus, and he has the stitches to prove it.

In a sick way I am almost jealous of my friend. I am also scared of what I might have done in his place. The only thing i know of suffering is that they don't sell Christmas stuff at Walmart anymore. As we heard the news about this beating and injustice. We immediately began to circle around their pastor and pray. We prayed for him and prayed for kamil...but most of the prayers....were for the men who did this...that my friends is grace...that is true religion at its finest. That is pasion.

About Bread + Fish

2005-12-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

I'm in a class rightly called John, because it is a study of the fourth gospel. There is so much I like about John. I love how John writes I think. I like the emotions I get while reading this book. I love that John feels free to be confusing or that the Lord feels free to.

I was reading today about the feeding of the five thousand. Now since chapter 5 an entire year has passed and Jesus is once again being an obedient Jew and showing up to the feast. However, Jesus knows the evil, unrighteous priests and sanhedrin aren't going to feed the people's spiritual hunger, so he takes them to a mountain.

I noticed this about Jesus. Jesus wanted to teach the men who had traveled to Jerusalem spiritual things, but he knew that the men needed to eat or they wouldn't hear a word he'd teach them. Just like Jesus always was doing probably, he tests Phillips faith, and asks him how they should feed these people. Philip fails this test, and mumbles something about how much it will cost.

I can almost see the look of frustration/disappointment/yet perfect, patient, love as he glanced past Philip to an approaching Andrew. Now if you know anything about Andrew you know that he was always bringing people to Jesus. (What a great testimony by the way) Now I saw something today that I have never seen before. I imagined in my mind that Jesus was about to make manna fall from the heavens, and water spring forth from the ground, but....There was a boy behind Andrew who he wanted to talk to first.

Now you can read about this miracle in all four gospels but only John mentions the boy. The word paidarion is a double-diminutive meaning literally a "a very small boy". The same word is used to describe the probably pickled fish, and barley bread (barely by the way was considered grain fit for beasts).

I like to think that this boy pleaded with Andrew if he could please give Jesus his fish and bread. I think the boy had the faith of Joshua as he ran up to Jesus. Jesus probably embraced this poor, pathetic-looking, little boy, and I think he winked at him and whispered in his ear "watch this son"

This tells me several things. First that this boy had a good father. A father who was a good Jew and attended the feasts he was supposed too. Also, a father or mother that knew to let his boy run to Jesus with whatever he had and see if he'll take it. My friends....He'll take it everytime. How many of us have so much more than bread or fish, lets see what he'll do with it. amen?

About Social Responsibility

2005-12-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

When I hear the words social responsibility I think of situations in which I or anyone would do the right thing. For example if I hit a dog with my car I would try to find the owner. If I saw a house on fire I would call 911. However, this realm of responsibility is also about other areas....areas like shopping for example. For a while now I have been on a kick of being socially responsible shopper. If you asked me what responsibile shopping was last year I would have told you whatever place saves me the most money. Is this true? If thats the case I should get everything I need at Walmart, rumor has it they will sell babies, cars, and houses soon at discount prices. The following is from a paper my friend Amber wrote.

"The thing about Wal-Mart though—which should not be forgotten—is that it’s the largest, most successful company in history, and the world’s largest employer. It has a market share close to 30 percent of numerous industries in the world’s most powerful economy (ours). The main objection to Wal-Mart (well, mine anyway) is not only that it’s predictably ruthless, but that it acts with the impunity granted it by its power.

Walmart (in response to intense public criticism of late, including a memo pulbished by the New York Times) Unlike other companies which respond to public criticism by actually improving policies, or at least promising to address them, Wal-Mart just goes about business as usual and tries to make what it’s doing sound better. Instead of actually increasing employee benefits, it pays for commercials with happy employees and yellow smiley faces. Instead of recognizing that Wal-Mart sets wage trends, executives publicly support raising the minimum wage, while keeping their own wages low. Instead of responding to concerns that Wal-Mart has an unfair advantage over its competitors, it hires former political campaign managers to clean up its image.

Of course, the reason that Wal-Mart does this is that cleaning up its image is a lot cheaper than cleaning up its practices, and executives have confidence that people will settle for a little sweeping under the rug, and keep coming back for the low prices. For whatever reason, it seems we keep falling for it, and it won’t change until we stop. So, if you care about the well-being of workers, if you don’t like the concentration of power in a single corporation, if you don’t think returns to shareholders must be the sole dictator of business decisions, then exercise your right in a free economy and spend your money elsewhere. Now is a good time to start. "

If your like me your probably thinking "every business is corrupt, so why not go to the corrupt one that gets me the cheapest milk and donuts". I understand. I suggest checking these sites www.responsibleshopper.org. and www.business-humanrights.org. They might be of help in this busy shopping frenzy the next few weeks.

Dry Times

2005-11-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

Dry times come so ....
Unexpectedly
All the success and vitality of yesterday
All to easily just slip away

Its that slippery slope my friends
That cause you to wake
And feel this way

Alone sometimes
Weary
Heavy laden
Depressed

Now its not everyday feel this way
Mostly its just now and then I'd say

Now I know you say
Come to Me
And I'll give you rest
But sometimes when its just
Me and you
That I have absolutely no clue
What to say or do

I don't like thinking
About all that mess
I like thinking
About nothing but me sometimes i guess

You know also that I like to forget...
About who I truly am
About your love
About my committments
About my family and my friends

Why is that You or anyone puts up with
My behavior and me?

I'm really quite dense i think
Quite disobedient too
I fail often and sin some too
I imagine You know how forgetful I am
Everything I say or do

Wow, now theres a thought
You know every hidden thought and deed
Talk about reason to confess and plead!

So here we are again
Just me and You
And again I struggle
What to think, say, or do
Hard to believe after all these years
I'm still not quite sure how much there is
Between me and you

"Be Still " you say,
"Come away with Me" you plead
Lord forgive me please
All I truly want is You

About the Celtic Way

2005-11-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

If I have any worth, it is to live my life for God so as to teach these peoples; even though some of them still look down on me. -St.Patrick

About Truth

2005-11-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

I was reading a comment made on a friends blog and got to thinking about truth. How does this grab ya?

In his book, "Exclusion and Embrace," Miroslav Volf says,

the truth matters more than my self, but the self of the other matters more than my truth.

About Concerns

2005-11-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to be crystal clear about some of my thoughts/feelings/concerns I have made public in the context of this "blogworld". Again, the purpose behind "blogging" was and still is to invite dialogue about real issues that are going on in our lives , other people's lives, our church, the universal church, our society, and the world around us. I truly do realize that I am no great authority on any of these subjects. I would submit to you that truly I know very little. Even when it comes to God I am convinced I know more of what he's not than what he actually is.

Apostle Paul said,

"What I want to do, I don't do, but what I don't want to do, this I keep on doing".

These words are painfully true in my life, and in more than one arena. This blog is a supreme example of this, and I have found that I am communicating some thoughts and ideas that was not my intention at all to communicate. The very things I do want to communicate, it seems that I am not. I cannot express how much this frustrates me.

I know that many of you are confused/frustrated with some comments I have made regarding a great many things. For the record, this is truly good news, because I need to be reminded constantly that I don't know much of anything. The Lord is teaching me to truly listen and value what others have to say, especially people who disagree or are coming from a different point of view. That said, lets cut to the chase.

In evaluating my own statements about church they do appear to be critical and unkind on the surface. I know my my words don't resonate with everyone. Some probably violently disagree with me. I also noticed that I only mentioned the things I applaud about the catholic church. This is all for several reasons.

First off, its really hard to talk bad about a denomination when you have friends and family who are devout Catholics like I do. Secondly, I agree completely with Zinzendorf when he said to call one another anything but "Brother" or "Sister" causes nothing but division. I'm tired of the titles and all the negativity towards brothers and sisters of different denominations. Do I agree with everything in their theology....No, but is that the most important thing? I have zero conviction that my theology should take priority over love. If you know how to love others, and if we learn how to love each other, than I would submit that we know more about the heart of God than most theologians. Why not encourage our brothers and sisters in what they have going for them? We have a great deal to learn from our brothers and sisters in the catholic faith. They respect and honor Mary, they pracitice discipline, they sacrifice, submit, practice reverance, practice solitude, pilgrimage,etc. Anyone every heard of Mother Theresa? She's a sister we all could learn a great deal from. Why not seek to bring unity with them? Why not try to learn from them? I think we all need to rethink what unity in the body truly means.

About Christianity in America...there is something terribly off, even in the bible belt's buckle Lyncburg,VA. Luckily, I'm not alone with these thoughts; Praise the Lord. I heard just last night a great sermon that said a great many things, but what stuck out to me most was...

" We (the American church) need to repent of the faith we haved created."

The preacher made this comment after seeing two articles in a paper. One said that a church had spent 23 million dollars on their new building. The other which was right next to it said that the church had raised $5,000 dollars to send to the Sudan. Truly,

"We need to repent of the faith we have created!"

I was in Towson, Maryland with many people this past week attending the Eiffel Fellowship Prayer Gathering. Eiffel by the way is a town in Germany. I met many believers from all walks of life and different countries....but the man I want to point out is George Miley. George with his wife Hannah started Antioch Network. For more info check out the website at www.antiochnetwork.orgetwork.org/about.htm.

He wrote a book called "Loving the Church...Blessing the Nations", and lets just say its quality. I do not know George well personally, but what I do know I really like. From what I observed of him, and from the people I asked, George is a very humble man. Watching, listening, and conversing with him made me think this is what talking to Jesus must have been like. You just feel compelled to be around him. The man has done a lot for the kingdom of God and its advancement, and after we had a time of worship and prayer we transitioned into a time of teaching when George with sadness and tears in his eyes said...

"The church in America is suffering from a crippling superficiality..."

Followed with an immediate , "... and I am a part of that".

My heart resonates with this statement, and filled my heart with conviction and strangely... peace. I have often felt alone with this observation, and I'm dumbfounded that others don't notice, or could care less it seems. I admit that I am filled with anger and have not tried at all to hide my disappointment with the church of America. My anger remains. It simply has started a fire within me that I believe will only be quenched once there is redemption in the Body.

The church is in crisis!

I think all would agree with me that the "twenty-somethings" (and a lot more) are not in the church on Sunday morning, nor do they feel the need to be. They are the generation that is falling through the cracks, and being wounded by our superficiality. A generation I might add that will be having kids soon. Do you think they will be raised in the church? Anyone think they will be the ones to flood our church buildings? Is there any hope to reach them?

The house-church/celtic model is one idea that seems to be on the minds of many as the most effective way to reach this generation. I have been having "church" in this way myself, and never in my life have I experienced God and community of this quality. Brian Mclaren, in his book "A New Kind of Christian", expounds on this a great deal better than I could.

It was recently said in reference to me that this blog has been like the "blind leading the blind". I thought about this for a long time, and determined that I agree. As long as we admit that we are all blind. It got me thinking that I would rather be a blindman who hears the Spirit and responds with obedience, than to have sight at all.

I truly do see where everyone's concern is coming from. I honestly do. It looks like I left the "church" (absurd to think one could actually do this.) Looks like I"m breaking fellowship. Looks like I'm encouraging others to do the same. It's simply not true.

My love for the Christ's church has increased exponentially in this last year, so much so that I'm not sure I ever loved the church before. I am experiencing true fellowship to a degree many wish they had. I am dismayed to think this has all come into question.

I sorta feel like I'm at a party. I'm the only one not drinking at the party. Everyone is telling me to drink. I say no. By not doing it, however, I'm communicating that I think drinking is wrong. When I really just do not want to drink anything. So the people respond more forcefully to drink, because then if I do it, they will feel better about themselves and drinking in front of me.

I in the last month or so have been meeting, talking, praying with and for pastors from Lynchburg. Specifically, about a new prayer initiative for this year, because of my love for the church, and my desire to see them involved in the mission God has for all of us.

What is truly humorous to me is that God has led me to do this "new thing" right? Part of this new thing for me the Lord made it clear to me that I should join staff with a mission organization called Antioch Network. To be staff you need to raise support,especially if you value things like eating, insurance, etc. No big deal right? Well guess what friends, my house church is small. My team is small. To raise support your best bet is to attend and be a member of a big church, and to raise individually. Some church's will fork out 30-40-50% of your cost. Pretty appealing right. Well, once again, the Lord seems to get a kick out of convicting me about things that are the christian sub-culture norm.

Well, to make a long discussion short, I simply refuse to be a member anywhere for this reason. In fact, it is my prayer and hope to change the way support raising is done (which may be my life's work). I am not saying that the way it is done now is sinful/wrong. What I am saying is that there must be a better way than exists right now, and that its worth pursuing, and that I want to do it that way.

To get back on track, this new thing to which I refer is about missional living in the kingdom of God. This is simply my purpose on this earth. To make disciples who will reign in the kingdom. Praise the Lord that I am surrounded by people with a similar passion. They have an apostolic outlook, and boy do they have potential. They are far more dangerous to the enemy than they even realize.

Sorry so long, I hope that makes clear some things that might have been confusing. My question is this, what are we going to do church? How will we respond? May I encourage you all to spend more time with Jesus. Do what he tells you to do with the full knowledge that He is worthy of all our trust. Amen?

"Here I stand, I can do no other, God help me"-Luther

About Prayer

2005-10-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed the immediate rush of thoughts, feelings, that come immediately with certain words?

Prayer is certainly one of these words to which I am referring. All of us have immediate thoughts, feelings, and past experience with this word prayer.

I was thinking also many of us tend to think of prayer in only one way...Failing to see the many sides of prayer, and possibly sides not even discovered. Prayer could be worship, intercession, thanksgiving, supplication, pleading, begging, yelling, silent, and so much more right? You could pray when you walk, run, when your doing the dishes, etc. You can pray in different positions, lying down, standing up, sitting, bowing, etc. You can certainly pray with different emotions or attitude.

I myself am increasingly frustrated with my lack of freshness in prayer. I tend to do the same old thing all the time. The same old requests, in the same old manner, with the same old attitude. However, I've received the best advice I've ever heard on the secret of prayer...This is it...You learn how to pray.... By praying.

I am a beginner when it comes to prayer. The truth is my prayer life didn't exist till this past year. I'm not saying I never prayed, but it certainly wasn't a major priority. The men/women of God who changed this world and made a difference for the kingdom of God talk about prayer much different than I ever have. I used to think "duty" when I heard prayer. It seems to me the great women and men of God found power in prayer. They found it to be a place where you could meet God. They found it to be like oxygen.

The universal church is becoming more committed to prayer than ever before. There is a great book called The Red Moon Rising by Pete Creig about a prayer movement that began 6 years ago now in London. From this single prayer room and vision received there, we have now 24-7 prayer rooms in more than 100 countries ...Check out www.24-7prayer.com

I believe this movement is very close to the heart of God, because its leading us back to utter reliance on Him. Also, these prayer movements are uniting all kinds of people/denominations to one purpose. Preparing the way for the King.

About Evangelism

2005-10-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation the other day with my friend Joe about the complexities of...i guess being a Christian today. Specifically though, we talked about evangelism. Evangelism is tricky word. To me it brings a mix of emotions, and most of mine are of the shuddertothinkofwhatitsdoneand become persuasion.

Evangelism brings to mind men using scripture, passion, and logic to push for a decision to get someone saved or get someone in heaven. I have done this. I was one of those type men. I remember pushing for decisions based on emotion. I remember the feeling of being a salesman of Christ, and not a disciple. We don't need to sell Him...we need to abide in Him, and He sells himself through us.

So based on the past hurt caused by evangelism, I propose that evangelism is causing more harm than good, and I submit that we do away with it, and while were at it we should do away with people gifted in evangelism...

Ok, so obviously that isn't the solution.

As I have dialogued with others, and the more I have surrounded myself with people who don't know who Christ is or what He has done for them, I believe that the best thing we Christians can do is to pray and ask God what to do.

As I have been doing that, I truly feel as if the word is saying Christ's example will help us the most. Christ surrounded himself with the sick and lost. We need to get back to that. Christ lived out His gospel. People were drawn to him. They will be drawn to us too if we are unifed in Him.

People aren't drawn to the church today. I believe this is in part due to the lack of unity in the body of Christ...his church. We are not the biblical community God calls us to be. Most people live Sunday to Sunday I fear. Most are living life the way they want to live it. Its that same attitude that is the reason our country gives a new ring to the words "wicked and peverse" generation. If we want to draw them again, maybe we need to realize that we need to get back to basics. For example, getting to know people, being a friend, being kind, showing the love of Christ.

Poverty

2005-10-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

What is the big deal about poverty? I was just thinking that to me I feel very indifferent almost to the poor. "Get a job" ..."Do some work" are the type of thoughts that come into my head. I have people who come to my house constantly asking for money, and its hard to know what to do. I always tell myself I'll do something one day to help with that...Someday soon. Problem is we are all so busy with life...We choose not to think about it really. We are unaffected. But the whole issue of poverty in my city,nation, and the world is a big deal. Its a big deal to Jesus, maybe because there are millions of them all over the world. I feel very strongly that all people should make it a concern of there's to better this world and to help a brother who's in need, and let me tell ya...There's a lot in need.

For 5 years now I have been involved in a ministry that takes students to the government housing facilities in downtown Lynchburg. It hasn't taken long to become frustrated with this ministry. On the surface, doing a lot of good things and beyond the surface as well. Many children will remember our kindness and love for years to come. However, their situation and their families hasn't changed at all. These kids don't have fathers...So their mom works all day...Because their mom works all day...She doesn't discipline her kids...Nor does she show them love...So the kids....Do anything for love and acceptance...And lack discipline in school...Years down the road...The lack of discipline leads to fights, alcohol, and drugs...Which lead to getting kicked out of school...Which leads to no career....Which leads to .....It goes on.

How can we really help these families? I feel somewhat helpless as what exactly to do. Yeah, you can do clothes drives, can food drives, etc. What does that really do? Its giving a man a fish, not teaching him to fish. Yeah, we can do nice things in the name of Christ, however, is that it? I don't want the poor to be people who are taken care of...Always, but to become people who will start taking care of others one day...Not just receivers.

My idea is that you all have an idea about this...How can we spark change in our communities? How can we invest in the future? Is it kids? Is it families? Maybe its that we all need to adopt a family? Maybe life on life is the only way? Maybe its communities of people who need to, bands of people who would care enough about one family to invest in them and give as they had need? Is it teaching money management classes? How can we get colleges involved? Is a faith-based initiative something that could serve this purpose to look into? How can we stop this cycle of poverty in our cities? How do we get people to care? How do we get churches to care? Does anyone have any........Ideas?

Friends

2005-10-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

I was wondering the other day about my friends. According to my Facebook profile, I have 232 friends and counting. As far as people who truly know me, and who I truly know, the list is much shorter. In fact, I was sitting around with a group of friends the other night and as I looked at them I began to wonder how on earth we became such good friends. That's when it hit me....All my good friends are friends because of encounter.

The encounter I refer to is hard to analyze. In fact, it was different as I began to think with each friend. For example, I am good friends with my friend Lindsay because of a summer when she and I had a conversation in which I fully exposed my hurting and wounded heart to her. She had been gentle and kind with my exposure, and shared with me some of the things that had hurt and wounded her as well. Another e.g., my freshman year I was at a concert with some guys from my hall. They decided they wanted to leave and go off-campus. In the next few minutes an act of kindness and sincerity led me to my friends Jeff and Brent.

As I began to think more and more of these encounters I began to feel more and more encouraged. All of my good friends are friends because we approached each other with a realness, a sincerity of the heart. I have heard it before that if you want friends, go out and be a friend. Well, yes and no, I think if you want true friends, be real, honest, sincere. Listen to people when they talk to you...And be ready for it....Its sneaky and happens very little throughout the day...But then you'll heart it occasionally...Its a delicate moment...sometimes its the first genuine "How was your day" and sometimes its simply listening to someone as they shares to you how they have been hurt. Be careful with those moments....its those moments that have true friend potential.

Rebellion

2005-10-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

My soul longs for redemption to occur in my lifetime. Redemption in friendships, families, the body of believers, and in all nations. It's time for the Third Great Awakening or maybe its time for a new thing ...Perhaps The Great Rebellion. I am thinking...Yes and Amen to that, because the rebellion has already begun....

My generations rebellion is different. Our rebellion is grass-roots. Our army is not like any other. Our army is made up of the dead. For we no longer live, but He lives through us. Our rebellion is birthed out of prayer. Our rebellion is against American morals. Our rebellion is against the American Dream. Our rebellion is against the strongholds of the mind. Our rebellion is against legalism. Our rebellion's outcry is that the Lamb be worshipped in all languages, and among all people. We declare that we want to see the Kingdom of God cover the earth like water covers the sea! Our rebellion cares nothing for our own desires.

Our rebellion will not be a revolt against the authorities. Our rebellion isn't against our Master. Our rebellion is in service to the King. Our rebellion requires us to devote ourselves, all of ourselves in service to the King. For his sake we must rid ourselves of all idols. We will give Him our all, for his All.

Our rebellion will take care of the poor, father the fatherless, bind up broken hearts,and feed the hungry. Our rebellion will Shine like the Dawn! Our King will be our rear guard, his righteousness will have our back, and it will go ahead of us, and it will be in us! If only we stand firm, than the Sword of His Spirit will destroy the enemy and their strongholds. He will renew his great deeds in our day, and in our time make them known! He will pour out His Spirit among this valley of dry bones. Our rebellion has dreams. Our rebellion has visions.
Our rebellion will not rest till the remant are called , the battle is won, the harvest is over, and the commission fulfilled.

The Approach

2005-09-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

"It doesn't matter what scripture means to you, all that matters is what scripture means"

You know I only had to listen to that statement halfway through before I felt very uncomfortable. Saying what it means to me isn't important... Is real shiza.

I believe it is true our only hope in this life is a living and active relationship with God. The last thing we need today is to experience God...that looks weird right. Maybe thats whats missing with alot of us. We want to experience what God has to offer us, but we don't want to do whats necessary to do that. Really what we need is to encounter God. Yeah, thats a completely different ballgame. Ok, so how do we encounter God? One way that we encounter this God of ours is in His Word. A major factor in encountering God in his Word has to do with our approach...

Martin Buber in I and Thou writes, "Every means is an obstacle. Only where all means have disintegrated encounters occur."

" I have realized that it is possible that I have never really encountered Scripture because I have always approached as a means to something beyond itself. I have historically come to the Scriptures in order to find something. I have not allowed the text to find me. The Scriptures have been a lot like a divine vending machine. As I come to the Scriptures, I put my problems or questions about life in and expect all of the answers to come out. Sadly, in so doing the Scripture has been nothing more than object, or means, to my own selfish ends. "-Bryan Nixon, my pal. Is it just me...or does Bryan's past experience sound frightingly similiar to your own.

I believe we need and have to admit that our "boxes" of interpretation won't and can't explain the mystery of God/Christ/Salvation/Truth/etc. I believe we all need a new freshness in our approach to scripture. I like the idea of guys approaching it like you would a women. Girls maybe you need to approach it, like you would a piece of chocolate cake...haha.

Tipping

2005-09-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have needed to say this for a long time. (Especially to you Christians out there ) . Some of you, most of you, know that I have been a waiter for the last two years. I have learned a great many things...but one thing I have learned above all else is to pray before each shift that I DON'T have to wait on a big group of Christians. Christians, or maybe its just those of you who bow your heads before you eat, are the worst tippers ever. Sadly, everybody knows it. Church groups come in to my work...and you can almost see the tears start. At my work when big tables come in...you can automatically add your tip % or take your chances....you take your chances on Christians and your getting burned buckaroo. I think this is absolutely absurd.

Here is the truth. If you tip 15%....your cheap. If you tip 17% your still far from generous. For Christians worldwide to tip 20% is one of my new goals in life. Servers don't care about your tracks if your gonna be cheap. In fact, I would say don't dare talk about our gracious, generous gospel...and dare leave less than 25%. Leave a server a 20....he'll remember you forever. Leave Him less than 15% ...he'll remember you forever too....and the God you represent.

The Dilemma

2005-09-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

So I am reading this book called I-Thou by Thomas Merton. I am finding that this book is revealing my "two-fold" world of things and people in fresh, new, and exciting ways. My friends Scott and Brian have both read it, and it was mainly my respect for them that tempted me to read the book, and I am very glad I am. I confess I hated it for a few days. There are many things I am learning about people and things, but what's cool is that the book gives language and logic to things I noticed every day before in the relationship realm but didn't know how to describe before. The book talks of "between" moments of life and that is the topic I wanted to think more about, in regards to relationships.

A "between" moment is not easily defined. So here are some examples. John calls Susie and asks her out to eat...However before as Susie answered the phone she whispered to her roommate Donna that she is real annoyed with johns phone calls. John hears susies whisper and then "bam" there is a between.

"Betweens" happen everyday. A between you see could be anytime someone offends you, shames you, embarrasses you, etc, and then we come to it...The between. When we face these moments two things have automatically happened. We have already thoughts about what a person has treated us, done to us, or said to us, and we have already had some type of feeling about it. Maybe were indifferent, pissed, angry, confused, etc. There is a third thing however, its our active will/action. What will we choose to do now?

I'm around people all the time: I live with six guys, I work at a restaurant, I'm at school, etc. So I talk to people all the time. And if you talk to enough people...You will find that a favorite subject among people is people. We love to talk about each other. Usually negatively...There's a fancy word for that...Gossip/slander. Talk to someone long enough I notice...Ask someone how's it going...And mean it...And they will usually talk about a conflict with someone. After about a week I've noticed that this is an epidemic. Its like everyone skipped Realness 101, Honesty 102, and Christlike 103, and everyone went to Surface Stuff 101, Agendas 100, Acquaintance Keeping 102, and Gossip 500.

I'd beg if could....We must start approaching people and each other with realness, sincerity, and humbleness of mind. We need to start having no agenda other than unconditional love. In that context...Real relationships form. When betweens happen in that context...I think something very unique happens...Encounter. Encounter with the real person, not the surface one.

Institution (Part Deux) /Sunday Morning

2005-09-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends and Family,

I wanted to make some things crystal clear to avoid any confusion that might occur. To start, I must apologize, I was fully intending to keep these thoughts to myself, and to use the blog as a vent, but at the last minute I changed my mind, and thought maybe it was better to share. So I apologize for the lack of structure and bad grammar. I really must apologize for my lack of clarity in the use of some words (and the horrendous spelling in the past). Some of you may be thinking that I delete comments I don't like...Nothing could be further from the truth...I deleted some that were from some advertiser guy...But I would never ever delete a comment by one of you ( just for the record ).

My hope is now we can encounter these issues together with a fresh start. You should know my attempt is not to reach a conclusion on who's right or who's wrong, but simply to discuss and learn from each other, and to have true encounters relationally with my family and friends.

I confess my common theme is surpisingly negative for how hopeful I truly am. I want you all to know that more than anything on this earth; I want to see people become disciples of Christ. I think the most important thing about all of you is that you wake up in the morning and know that the God of the universe loves you, all your talents, all your faults, all your secrets, and that he'll never love you more no matter what you might do or accomplish for Him. If you don't do that, than you wake up with something to prove, to Him and yourself and to those around you. You'll live the rest of your life trying to climb a ladder that leads nowhere great.

I want you to all know that I wasn't referring the Catholic church to be the "institution" I wrote about. I have no problems whatsoever with the Catholic church ( that's not entirely true, every denomination has faults, we all know this) but I wasn't intending nor did I mean for them specifically to be the source of the problem. There is so much that I really like about the catholic congregation. I applaud the Catholic church when it comes to honoring the mother of Christ, and especially when it comes to feeding the poor, clothing the naked, etc. (Deut 10:12-ff). (It is what God requires of us. )

For the record, I don't really see in terms of denominations anymore, because truly there is just One body. ( I agree with Zinzendorf, we should address each other as brother and sister, these other words cause false thinking, pride, and division, which we need least of all today).

I mentioned a lot of things I'm disappointed about in my other blurbs (if you would have seen what I left out you would have kissed me...jk): worship, prayer, sermons,etc. I want to reinforce that these are all good things, all needed. I wanted to take a second to say by no means am I describing All churches. For one, this simply is not true. Secondly, its not possible. Christ wouldn't forsake his bride, read Habukkuk 3 and see what he does when someone messes with his bride.

My problems run deeper than those outward things we see on Sunday morning today. This is because the problems run deeper than the surface. My main problem in churches is in: Discipleship, abandonment, devotion, passion, and leadership to start. My problems with the singing and worship and power points are not the heart of the matter, but simply the outward behaviors that have come to erk me.

I would compare it to this. Think of a liar. The lies he or she tells aren't really the problem. Its the heart, the attitude of the person lying that's the real problem. Its the heart we have to deal with to stop the lying, not the lying itself. In the same way, I have a problem being in a room with a group of people who really don't want to be warriors, disciples, followers of Christ. The say they do, but they don't. That may sound judgmental. Didn't Christ teach us to judge a tree by its fruit? Did he not say, don't cast your pearls to swine? I don't see fruit, I hear about fruit others do, in other fields, never the field I live.

We, the body of Christ, are all called to be his disciples...First. That's like a non-negotiable. That is a non-negotiable. Sadly this membership, to his church, cost something. JOSH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT...GRACE ALONE. You got me there, but there is just this one thing....Christ said how much it costs! (Luke 14:25-33) Lucky for us its just $40,987.65, 3 hours a week, and 10 minutes of prayer!

Yeah right, I think you'll find Christ puts a whole lot of value in being a disciple of His. I think you might read it costs you.....you guessed it...everything. And we can sing and praise and listen to great practical sermons and take notes all we want...But it means nothing if we are not intimate with him and find our identity solely in Him. Because we no longer live (those of us who have been bought) but Christ lives in us!

If we are not spending ourselves on behalf of the cause of Christ...Which is the poor...Which is the widow...Because the Lamb deserves the glory ...Here and all over the world! For some reason I feel like Sunday morning isn't' doing that...And I'm right ...Its not. Its few selected individuals rather...Missionaries/pastors/ we leave it to them...And we believe our role is to pray and encourage them.....And maybe have a bible study at our house if were really spiritual. That's baloney. We are all called to live and be Christ, to be missional...to be advancing the Kingdom, which means doing and being.

Sunday morning doesn't seem to me to stress the importance that this life MUST be rooted in complete and utter devotion to Christ...Because our life is not our own, it is His! We we bought! If we our still living our life, and we haven't surrendered or realized the fact that we are dead, and no longer live, than what happens is we buy into the lies of the enemy. We believe him when it comes to priorities. The priorities of this world are shit. Paul says they are "feminine rags" compared to the riches of Christ. I hate this worlds priorities. God hates them. Selfish ambition, comfort, money, nice things make me want to vomit. Then again its not so much the things themselves, but the idols we make them. Putting them in front of Christ. Which we do. We do it all the time. To be completely transparent... I've spent more money on myself than I ever spent on his behalf....That makes me guilty....I've spend more time on myself than I ever have on his behalf. I spend more energy on my own ambitions and wants that on advancing his Kingdom, but this worlds priorities no longer have a hold on me. They try though, try everyday.

For the record, if I did become a "member" or "attend" a church regularly it probably would be a catholic church, because I believe they are the closest to what I believe is the Father's heart in scripture...That is the poor, the hungry, the fatherless, etc. But for now the Lord has me doing a new thing.

The Institution

2005-09-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

I do believe that when the body of Christ is compared more to a corporation/institution than to Christ, we (I) have done a poor job in our culture, and the time has come for drastic and necessary changes. Its no secret that this style, form, wineskin, whatever you want to call it that we experience Sunday morning is rendering REAL fellowship lifeless. Its not about us and what we want to do. Its about Him, and his decrees since the beginning (death-12-ff).

This institution of course has guardians, and it always has. Its those people who want to keep the status quo, and stay comfortable. People who do not want to rock the boat, and aren't interested in the new thing God is doing. People who are too easily satisfied. Brian Mclaren once wrote, that the "church" today is similar to the huge cathedrals you'd find in Europe. The are majestic, outwardly beautiful, and successful in many ways, and yet they collapsed under their own weight, because of one monk who turned the world upside down, because he dared to look at what the gospel really meant, I think is name was Martin something.

The Church today doesn't execute people like back then, instead it seems almost bent on keeping us just the way we are. Which is in a lot of ways worse. Were stagnant, were alive but in a coma (American church). They haven't told us and affirmed what power we have through Christ, that every believer is a priest. They haven't told us how crucial we are to the body. The corporation has given us just glimpses of community, enough to keep us hungry.

The institution keeps us as comfortable as possible. We have believed the lie that the Christian life is lived on Sundays and Wednesday night bible study. Its rose in the desert to find a "church" whose main focus is going to the sick, feeding the hungry, fathering the fatherless, etc. Luther himself said that we'd rather sit "among the rose's and lilies, to be around the holy people, the devout people". (Because bad company corrupts good character you know.) He went on to call us "blasphemers of Christ" if we sat in that field.

There are no challenges of devotion. Devotion is for the missionaries and pastors and worship leaders. We put those MEN on pedestals, and consider everyone else a lesser role, since the institution no longer stresses the priesthood of ALL believers. Maybe some of the problem lies that most church's aren't structured right. With apostles, prophets, and evangelists at the core. Maybe the problem is we having administrators running the show. Maybe the problem is pastors are expected to do it all. No doubt all groups of believers have problems, or course. So does that mean we should accept it?

We (I) must return to being the community I (we) are called to be in his word; fathers to the fatherless, defenders of the widow, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and to bind up broken hearts. This is true religion. I don't see how those things are accomplished in this institution we have now. Were overfed, undermotivated, and okay with all of it. Maybe we should fast? (Isaiah 58).

Ecclessia (Part Three)

2005-09-21T00:48:00.000-07:00

Characteristics of the Ecclessia

It is crystal clear and none would argue that church was designed to be Christ's earthly body. According to George Miley, The church then is a person. A living thing. The church is Christ. Even in the book of Acts it is clear, from the words of Christ, "Saul, why do you persecute me?". He wasn't referring to the building . Me in Greek means something similar to me in English.

I think its funny our Lord doesn't mind giving himself extremely feminine characteristics. If The Church is like a bride. So Christ is coming to marry himself? Does that mean Christ is like the bride or the bridegroom? Weird to think about. I think its possible Christ means for us to love him and approach him like you would a bride. To approach Him "gently,to honor Him, to affirm his wonderfulness, to be tender, to be patient, and to cultivate response by spending time with Him."-Miley.

In his book Loving the Church, Blessing the Nations, Miley writes that One of the most beneficial characteristics would be that the church is designed to be a community. There are numerous examples of this: the Moravian community, the Celtic community, the first church even. The church was designed to be a community of being, doing, and mission. The church sold be the fullest manifestation of Jesus on earth, they are agents of mission designed to herald the message of God's dear son among all people. The church was designed to be unique in style, spiritual gifts, and life experience.

I think we should substitute the word I for church. I am supposed to be in community being, doing, and living missionally. I was designed to be unique in my style of learning, teaching, singing, writing, etc. I am gifted with natural and spiritual gifts. I am dead though, I no longer live. So it is really Christ who has gifted me, it is really Him who is unique and talented. So it is really Him that was made to live and be in community. After all, before the world began, was he not in relationship with Himself. Not even just one, but two others.

Ecclesia (Part Deux)

2005-09-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

I really am having trouble balancing my love for the body of Christ, the real church, my friends that are in this fight, this race, with me. And then this other thing, this institution of the church, to which many of them belong.

The church as an institution I don't really agree with that much. I don't like the comfort of it first of all. I feel like the institution reinforces ideas about our faith that simply aren't true. For example, that this life is all about me. Its not just that, its the lack of emphasis on what I consider to be crucial elements of our faith. Those elements being the teachings of Christ, costly discipleship, prayer, devotion, and sacrifice. Am I the only one that sees these elements missing in our churches?

Pete Creig once said in his book the Vision and the Vow, that worship today must sound muffled in the ears of God, with all this singing and little to no involvement with our society. This by far my biggest issue with church's. It seems like everything is so us-centered and not God or others-centered. If the average Christian honestly prays 3 minutes a day and the average pastor 7 minutes it is no surprise really.

If I had to give someone the blame for this, its our culture. We have slowly but surely believed the lies of the enemy about our purpose on this earth. We truly believe in our heart of hearts that life is supposed to be lived comfortably and with leisure. "We should have nice things, not the best things, but nice things." We should retire when were 50 and be set. We get things that we want, we deserve it right?

We believe the lies about how we spend our energy and time. Life is about sports, hobbies, TV, movies , and other entertainment. In between our times of leisure we should of course eat. When we eat make sure we get the best stuff though. If we eat a lot, no worries will spend time in the gym. We definitely have to work, at least 40 hours a week, and if we want that bonus 50 hours. We'll spend time with the family somewhere in the day. We can fit a bible study in the week sometime. There are way too many demands on our time.

Now I realize, that most people this day and age, have graduated highschool and read at a sixth grade level. So they've read their Bible. They KNOW they need time with Jesus. They KNOW they need to be involved in society ( with people). I, however, have found the way to do all this with the bare minimum of devotion. I have found a way to give it my least, and expect a life of intimacy like David and Paul.

Isn't that hilarious. I bet there are a lot more people like me. Expecting great things from God, expecting to hear from Him, but not casting down their nets. Not letting it cost me much. I wonder if costs everything means something different in Greek? Christianity doesn't cost anything these days, its cheap. So we can't pray in schools these days? Is that suffering? There was no-one praying anyway. Give 10%, give 3 hours a week, 3 minutes of prayer and a smile and a hug, make a decent living, and your the norm. Your average.

sidenote: I hope in my lifetime the phrase attend church today will die off. "Attend", whatever that word means. I hate that word in reference to church. "Attendance" seems to just reinforce spectator Christianity (where one watches a good sermon (if ur lucky) and singing performed for them, some cool power points, good music, and good coffee.)

I think most disturbing of all is that in all my years I have never seen in a church a real passion for the broken-hearted, the poor, the hungry, and the homeless. It would take warriors to embark on an adventure like that. I feel like I'm in a room of strangers. Strangers who look and behave more like they'd rather be in the kitchen than on the battlefield.

Ecclesia ( Part One)

2005-09-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

To start... What is church?

If one were to search through the new testament, one would find that when church is mentioned, it refers to the church that is the people of God, the body of Christ, and not the building. In Acts, the church is referred to as the "fellowship". This fellowship was a vast community of believers who dedicated themselves to Christ and his teaching, to each other, and to eating together, and prayer.

Almost 2000 years later, however, if one was to look up church in the dictionary now...You will find it means the building where we Christians "attend". In all honestly I guess I am not surprised to find this, and I am becoming more and more convinced that for most believers this is the attitude we have adopted. The attitude that one goes to "church", ( and not that we are the church) No matter how much we reinforce this poor thinking, even with our own comments ( "I'm going to church", "off to church", etc.), the church is still the body of Christ. There still is the body, which is alive today....But if you ask me its like were in a coma.

So what is church today?

Its no secret that Christianity in America, ( church) is run like a business and is an enterprise more than its an actual living organism. Now, that's not an original thought, that's from Time magazine. That's something the world could stand on the sidelines and see.

You have to ask yourself, time magazine isn't commenting on the buildings, their commenting about me. Their saying I, a representative of Christ, am like a business. I don't think they mean well. I think they mean that Christians are pushy, consumed with profit making, greedy, money hungry, obsessed with looking good,etc.

Sad